Much like the extremists of the Middle East, wasps give the hymonoptera order a bad name. They arrive in droves, and hold their new found dominion hostage, forcing co-habitants to live in fear, pain, and destitution what with the rising cost of Benadryl. Laura and I have fought this problem all summer long, and we have caved to the wasps' terroristic ways. But no more. On Wednesday evening, "Operation: Jihad to Piss Me Off" commenced against the flying infidels. Let me say with pride it was an undoubted success!
Having had enough of these bastards and their aggressive, leaf eating ways, we took advantage of the cloudy, windy day and attacked at about 1800. Having to admit air superiority to the enemy, Laura and I decided that our attack must be quick, devastating, and we would likely need it to be a long distance attack. Therefore, after contemplating the possibility of artillery(roman candles), infantry (my pellet gun), or armor(running my car through our front yard into the tree), it was decided each method involved too much collateral damage. Therefore, I made the decision few want to make; chemical warfare would have to be waged. At approx. 1815, a lethal dose of pyrethrum and refrigerant, also known as Raid Wasp & Hornet killer, was applied to the entire nest. Having not seen it coming, the wasps had very little chance. Locals (me & Laura) danced in the streets as wasp after wasp fell from their fortified positions dying slow deaths at the hands of the chemicals. A second, strafing application of Raid was applied to the nest, after which I knocked that sucker down.
Now, you have to understand that it has been a rare moment this summer that I have been able to go into the front yard without one of these suckers coming after me. The nest, which we found last week, was deeply interwoven in the back of our tree between multiple branches. To finally have found and rid our house of these mofos was a joyous occasion. So after Laura and I had finished dancing in the streets (we celebratorily danced for about an hour or two), we decided to end the night's festivities with a great feast(aka Chicken Express). So we jumped in the car, ran over the remnants of the nest a couple times, and went on about our lives, knowing the world is a better place.
Praise be to God, those lint lickers are dead! If anyone else is having Wasp problems, allow me to suggest you get in your trees, storm drains, easements and get them while you can, or you too may end up hostages in your own home!